CHERRY ON TOP MOMENTS
STEALING GOODIES AND MEETING NEW FRIENDS
Another great week with friends (four new ones, thank you very much!), two impromptu yet successful thrifting trips (8 things in total came home with me), dates that included trivia, beers on the Seine, and wine at La Bonbonnette, oh, and STILL NO VISA.
I was hoping today’s En Route would be short and sweet by saying I GOT IT! Mais non.
During one of my panic calls or emails to my lawyer a few weeks ago, he gave me a great suggestion: “Why don’t you book an appointment with the government offices to pick up your titre de séjour, even though you know it’s not ready yet? When you get there and they tell you it’s not available, just act like a clueless expat who didn’t know that wasn’t the process, then ask – since you’re already there – if they could print it for you.” Genius!
And since given that advice I have made it my job to refresh the French government website page all day, every day in an attempt to set an appointment. The process usually goes something like this: load the page, type in random letters that are in a picture above to prove that I’m not a robot, fail 17 times (even when I type the letters exactly correct), finally get through to access (yay!), and then sigh at the dreaded sentence: “Aucun créneau disponible. Veuillez réessayer ultérieurement.” – No slots available. Please try again later. I’ve made at least 6 attempts every day… until today! Today, I made two, and I got one rendezvous!
My lawyer assured me it could work like a dream – alas, pour moi, it worked more like a nightmare.
Not only did they A. forbid Fanny to come with me as my translator (she, like a saint, insisted that someone go with me to this big meeting, so canceled all her plans and made arrangements to meet me at the government building before my appointment. Just to be told that she couldn’t enter. She waited for me outside instead.), they B. basically gave me the middle finger when I said “Bonjour, je suis étudiant. J'apprends encore le français. Est-il possible de parler anglais pour tout comprendre?” (Hi, I’m a student and am still learning French. Is it possible to speak in English for this so that I understand everything?). The woman behind the glass rolled their eyes at me and then followed with “Absolument pas! Tu vis en France. Tu devrais parler français.” (Absolutely not! You live in France. You should speak French.) They C. made my heart break and my eyes sting with tears. It’s so intimidating and well, simply, callous, when spoken to like that. Especially when I’m trying! (When I told Fanny that that happened she went into full on mama bear mode. Which I loved! She didn’t like that one bit! She was furious that they said this to me – someone who is on a tourist visa and therefore is forbidden - by the French Government to work legally in their country. Therefore, someone who doesn’t “need” the language because my visa is to basically just tour around. And yet being shammed for not knowing it fully. I appreciated her compassion, understanding and protection so much. I felt seen!). And then D. didn’t give me any visa, nor a better understanding on when I can expect it. They just told me to be patient for the 75,000th time. It’s feeling like a joke at this point.
Fanny and I have a date to meet this coming Monday, where she will attempt to call the government again on my behalf – since the two times we called together yesterday were to no avail. We made it through, then we promptly got hung up on after being sent to a too-full-to-take-another-message answering-machine. Welcome to … kidding!
This week, I spent some time re-reading my En Routes from the past two years, and wow, it was eye-opening. It was fascinating to relive those weeks and see the ongoing uncertainty I’ve felt living in this city since I’ve arrived. The back-and-forth between wondering if this place was right for me or if it was time to leave was wild. And ever so inconsistently consistent. I’m sure every expat has experienced this to some degree. In fact, two new friends I met this week, Lucy and Sarah, both shared that the first 6-12 months of being here were absolutely brutal for them! And yet now, on this particular day we were talking, they have found their flow. “Let’s see how I feel tomorrow.” they both concluded with a laugh. Ha! And so it goes…
I found myself at the American Church of Paris last Sunday. I’d only been once before, as Miranda’s guest for an Association of American Women in Europe fundraiser event, but had never ventured into the fellowship hall. Let me tell you, it was breathtaking. By the time I huffed and puffed my way inside – having speed-pedaled there in two jackets due to a random temperature drop, only to feel like I was wrapped in a portable sauna bag when I arrived – the prayers had started. So those of us who were late(ish) were ushered upstairs. The coolest woman and her family walked in just ahead of me, and when she saw my disappointment about missing the main view, she turned to me and said, “The better view is upstairs anyway.” I loved her! Honestly, I should’ve asked for her number. I feel we would be friends. She looked just like Christene Barberich, and her 7yr old son? Hummm he was giving off serious mini-me David Bowie vibes in his neon green pants, silver boots, and vintage windbreaker. Where am I? Brooklyn or Paris? Loved it!!
After “real church” I went to “vintage church” and thrifted my toosh off! I had heard recently that the vintage market near Parc Monceau was great. So, I went to find out for myself. I’m not convinced I landed at the right one – but I certainly did land at the one with too many goodies to count pour moi!
We’re taught in “real church” not to steal – but eek I’m pretty sure I robbed most of the vendors I bought things from with my “est ce que vous accepteriez X?” negotiation skills that Fanny taught Justine and me a few weeks ago when we went vintage shopping together. It’s a more polite way of asking if they will accept $ amount vs $$$ amount. It worked like a charm for me!
I got two precious matching garnet velvet frames with a woman and her baby; two sailing paintings (not in the photo) that Philip – my new friend, who I learned lived in Charlotte for many years and also spent time in upstate New York as a professor – sold to me for 50€; a mini ribbon gold frame (also not pictured) for 30€ (the only thing my new haggling technique didn’t work on, but I thought it was worth it so got it anyway); and finally, the men's overcoat I’ve been wearing in every photo in this week’s En Route. I can't take it off. I love it too much! And the story of what I paid for it is just too good not to share. Usually, I get frustrated with how slowly I’m picking up French, especially my numbers! But this day? I was extremely happy that my memory failed me and I mispronounced $175 — the amount I was offering the vendor for the coat. She misunderstood me and said “madame, the lowest I can go is… 20€!” Hummmmmm WHAT?! Did I hear her correctly? I stole it!
FRIEND DATES
Kris and I had our final coffee date at Shakespeare & Company before our last yoga class together on Monday. After, she was hopping the pond back to LA la land. It was wonderful spending so much time with her over the past 3-ish weeks. So, this time instead of saying goodbye, we just said "see you in a few months," both knowing that “seeing” each other might happen stateside this time.
Biking home, I stopped off to get that yummy PB & J that Kris and I both love from Chanceux (you can take the girl out of America, but you can’t take the American sammie craving out of the girl) and then beelined it to the quay where I planned to eat and snooze. Ooops. That zzzzz part was by accident – but so so welcomed! I’m finally a local. I see my fellow Parisians doing this all of the time.
When the blazing sun (it’s here!!!!!!!) woke me up, I decided to walk back to my treehouse. When I did, I physically ran into Anne, a friend who lives on the island (two doors down from me to be exact), but who I never see. It was such a treat. We had a mini impromptu date at L'Escale and caught up on all that we’ve missed with one another since July – the last time we hung out in Cannes!
By night, enter two new friends… at trivia! Yep! You read that right! I went to trivia and had a BALL – and only answered one out of the four rounds of 10 to 12 questions each. So, not MVP over here, but I do however take credit for recruiting the MVP! Enter on stage left… Alex! I met him at the bar before the games began. He had come solo “to win,” he told me. He was a 20 year old film student who said that his mother had encouraged him to “go but to not be too competitive.” Ahhhhh I wanted him on our team! I’d just learned a few mins before that teams could only have 5 people, and since we were expecting one more (Sarah, who came later in the night and now I consider her one of my new friends this week) in addition to Leah, Lash, and me – 4 in total, I practically leapt over the person behind me to clear it with the ladies to add him to the mix. They loved the idea! And so did he! Just like that! We made five.
The rest of the night went something like this: Leah “shhhhh, everyone speak softly and write down clues if you don’t know it right away. We can come back to it later.” Alex: looking off into the distance as the questions were being read. His pen would go up to match his ponder and then in one very Cat’s (pun, you’ll understand later) like move, he'd scribble down his answers and present them to the group. Each time he showed me the paper I'd nod in agreement, pretending I knew anything about the topic! Lash: laughing and looking around for clues just like me who laughed yes, but would also start clapping if I saw either of our team captains stoked about something that was just written down. Clue that we got the point!
I came prepared with all the random Britney Spears facts I could remember, and I was ready to impress with my Dolly Parton knowledge. But to my surprise – I had misread the text. It wasn’t music trivia, it was musical trivia. Yikes! Still, I managed to get one question right. “Freddy my Love from Grease” – although shhhhh don’t tell my team. I only knew that song from the movie! I’ve never seen the Broadway show.
Oh! And cherry on top. Alex was sporting Dolly Parton’s stenciled face on his tee. Leah and I (who are both obsessed with her) knew… He was our guy.
We came in third place (out of 26 teams) but our name got first! The Roxy-Heartbreakers stayed around to take our prize shots and made a packed to do this all again the following Monday night with the Paris Quiz Mistress.
Later in the week I got to sip coffee at Café Pigalle in the SUN (praise be to SPRING) with Sara. My precious boo, who I simply LOVE seeing. She is younger than me by about 10 years and most of the time I feel she is older than me in soul. Wise!! I recently introduced her to one of my favorite families, owners of Coqui Coqui, and an opportunity they may have in place for her. It gave me such joy to see her excitement after meeting them, to hear how it went, and then to … girl talk. We stayed for hours!
The following day it was puzzles, rugs, wallpaper … oh my! On Wednesday morning I biked over to meet Cara at the Bastille Design Center for a charity flash sale. We had planned to meet for lunch (Wednesdays are her only days off from school, so they are typically the days I get to see her) but she got this tip from a parent friend in her WhatsApp group that this was the final day for the 90% off design flash sale. So, obviously we ditched the original plan and went to steal! I mean buy. By the time I arrived she was already queuing in line for us. And by the time we left we had goodies in tow. She got a playful wallpaper roll for her daughter, Stevie, to draw on for 2€! I got an octopus Kiub puzzle (after last week hearing the word I had called in, I couldn’t pass her up) that is evidently usually priced at 101€??!! Wow! I stole it for 15€. And, as we were getting in line to pay, Cara said “AC look at that rug! That would go perfect in your apartment.” hummmmm sure would! And sure DOES! I’m on it right now as I type. This Hübsh came home with me for wait for it… wait for it. 20€!
Cherry on top? It all felt free! I had left over cash in my purse from the weekend my mama was here, and I had withdrawn beaucoups of dollars for us to use in paying for our vintage finds. So since I didn't swipe my trusty Visa, it felt FREE!
And finally Thursday – two more new friends entered my life. Lucy and Max.
Miranda introduced me to my new friend, her longtime friend, Lucy. Uma Therman’s doppelgänger. Ever so chic and ever so English. She moved here 8.5 years ago from NYC and giggled as she said she thought it was only 7. I enjoyed learning her story of moving here, her journey forgiving herself for having no drive to learn the language and the shift she made when she released that pressure – and now, just enjoys the city. It was an upgrade to hear. I asked her what her favorite part is about living in Paris and she said without any hesitation – it’s the grocery shopping with her husband. “You have to seek out specifics from specific places so it becomes ‘the plan’ for the day. Le butcher for your meat, la poissonnerie for your fish and tarama, la crèmiere for your milk and cheese, and la boulangerie for your breads and sweets. In the US, the closest we can get is at Whole Foods. In one place. We don’t have to seek out for anything.” (And eeek, we can’t even do that anymore without guilt, since Jeff Bezos took it under his monopoly.)
Mirada chimed in that she too loves that about living over here. That she enjoys the pace most of all — that nothing is rushed. That Sundays used to be ruined for her in NYC, because her Monday agenda would creep in her mind and then take over for the rest of the day. But here? She doesn't let Monday ruin her Sunday. She says she has that mindset daily – “I had to realize that to take advantage of living in France I needed to live like the French. They work hard but they also ENJOY the moments in between without thought of the work. Like now!” C’est vrai! C’est vrai! Because in that very moment it was 11:30 am on a workday, and we were all sitting there, outside, on the island enjoying our visit. She was very present in the enjoyment moment, and therefore… very Parisian!
And to conclude my new friends of the week. I got to meet Max. Justine’s best friend from boarding school and forever. He is WONDERFUL and she’s convinced he’s the one who brought me luck with my appointment the following day for the visa (the one that I still didn’t get. But the appointment I did indeed get.) I walked into La Bonbonnette at around 7:15 pm and saw two of my favorites gabbing: Justine and Fanny! Makes my heart sing when my friends are friends. And as my eyes were locked on them as I walked in, I heard “AC!” Cara, and two of her new friends, were sitting in the booth to my left. Hugs all around! What a gift! For Fanny’s new bar to become my and my friend’s new watering hole – where we all get to see one another unexpectedly. Just as Bin 152 was for me (her other wine bar) in Charleston for all those years.
Max, Justine, Fanny and I sat outside of the bar until the sun went down enjoying orange wine and all the snacks (this time we got the tarama and butter. EVERYTHING!) He inspired me to the nth degree with his new successful business venture and how simply HAPPY he looked. He was radiating. He had popped over here for a few quick days with Justine before he was to board a mini plane to take him to his husband in the UK. As we talked, he introduced me to the designer Jake Arnold (hummmm how have I gone this long without knowing about him?) and Justine about Kathy someone (can’t remember the name) who she fell in love with years ago and has been following ever since. They all gave me such an upgrade! Both giddy over design and creativity. They have both completed The Artist's Way and didn’t miss a day of Morning Pages (c’est moi!). They accredit this book to their creative flow.
Then cherry on top, when I reached home that night, I received this sweet text from Cara: “I loved seeing you! My friends thought you were so chic and had great energy. I know you don’t always feel like you shine here, but we see it!”
She had no idea that I had just shared with my group outside that I was thinking heavily about leaving for that very reason. Being invisible here. What an upgrade!
HAMMAM HEAVEN IN METZ
And now to last weekend with Kendall Jener. I mean, Caroline! Who is 100% KJ in French form.
Saturday morning came early – but honestly, so did Friday night. I think I hit the sack at 7 p.m. – I evidently needed some serious beauty sleep before my serious day of beauty in Metz with Caroline at Dar Layla. I arrived in the city center at 12:01 p.m., and by 12:06 p.m., I spotted the chic, French Kendall Jenner look-alike waving me down. Caroline! We hadn't seen each other since my birthday in February, and phone calls just weren't enough lately. I needed to hug her and spend a day in her precious city.
Before heading to the incredible private hammam that she booked us for, we dined at Casa Ricci in their covered courtyard. It was perfecto! Just before the clock struck 2pm, we settled up with our waiter and walked over for what would turn out to be our THREE HOUR (bliss!!!) appointment with Layla. If you’ve never been to Metz, go! It’s a precious town and cherry on top this hammam is there.
The second we arrived we promptly changed into our bathing suits and followed Layla down to the underground tent and into the steamy hammam. Cleanest most majestic hammam I’ve ever seen! She had it custom made without any mosaics. No way mold could live here. She then lathered us with black healing soap, scrubbed us down with such intensity that I carried spots on my back and hands that resembled 'burn marks' (no, they didn’t hurt – I only share this because she said that some places in your body will be more sensitive and need releasing. It was cool to see her work still healing my body even days later), and then she coated us in a body mask that smelled like orange blossoms and clay. I was in heaven. In fact, for a moment, I really thought I was. When Layla poured warm water over us to begin, everything turned white for me. No kidding. I couldn’t make out a thing. it was like I was floating in the clouds, in heaven. A baptism if you will! Caroline even had her own “white-light” moment. She got a little lightheaded and had to step out of steamy paradise to regroup – poor thing. I felt partly responsible for her episode. As, when Layla asked if I wanted the steam warmer, I eagerly said, “Oui, bien sûr, forcément s'il vous plaît!” I think it was a bit too hot for my girl.
It was BLISS. I don’t know how long we were in the hammam, but when we came out, Caroline, still regrouping and cooling off, I offered to be the first one to get my massage. Giving her more time to sip and munch on the yummy treats offered to us in the room that looked like we had stepped out of France and into Morocco!
At the end of my abdominal massage (what I always request when there is a short amount of time), she went for my head and boy did she stir up all the chaos! I mean, if it wasn’t there yet – it certainly came as she started rubbing my scalp so rapidly that it felt like baby demons were being activated and running out of my head. It was WILD! I called the hammam a baptism, and this? This felt like an exorcism. She then softly added pressure as she gathered my hair into one long Rapunzel ponytail and pulled my hair like my sister used to when we are in a fight at age 6 and 10. I’m talking OUCH central. And yet, in this setting, YUMMY. Who knew one day I would be paying someone to pull my hair as hard as Miller and I pulled each other’s hair when we were children.
After we both dressed and sipped the mint tea that Layla insisted we drink before leaving her spa, we sought out for a little snack at P’tit Dessert Cafe. We decided that the strawberry and pistachio tiramisu was exactly the way we needed to wrap up this visit! We took the round about way to the station and cherry picked (a new phrase I taught Caroline who is always eager to learn English sayings) all the other topics we hadn’t yet covered (and some that we had covered over and over) before we got to the station, hugged tight goodbye, I shed a possible tear not knowing when I’d see her again, and loaded on the train – Paris bound.
Today is a gorgeous day à Paris and will be full of more reading, exploring, yoga (possibly), and spilling over quays with beaucoup people (pictured below from last night), and cherry on top… bébé Margaux open mouth kisses. I can’t wait!
Until next week… xxo ac
I cannot believe all the people on the Seine!! We had it to ourselves only 3 weeks ago! Cherry on Top!! Xoxo Mama