CROOKS
TWO DIFFERENT MEANINGS - ONE FUNNY WORD
UPGRADES
This past weekend I got to talk, or rather listen, to my sweet little 10 year old niece, Belle Miller. Ultimate UPGRADE. I love her so much it hurts (like my jaw actually aches when I see her on the screen due to my animalistic desire to eat your young instincts. She is edible!). Here’s the proof…
At 9am (est) on Sunday my alarm sounded. I had a phone date with my boodles, my niece and nephew. Boggs answered on the third ring and immediately walked me out to his back porch to have a conversation with his favorite aunt on his mother’s side (Ok, OK! I’m his only aunt on his mother’s side). His voice was low and mature. He looked so GROWN, yet still a precious boy! He was deep in explaining his soccer positions, wing back and center forward – I hope I got that right – when out walked a ripe 10 year old! Boggs turned the camera to show who had arrived on the scene and I squealed. I haven’t laid eyes on this double digit baby girl since she had turned 10! This squeal of mine made her beam. I KNOW I’m her favorite aunt (on her mama’s side).
She immediately stole me from her brother and walked me upstairs (on the phone) to her room to show me her birthday gifts, her yearbooks and ALL the boys who have crushes on her (edible!), her new best friend Charlotte, what she wants to do to redesign her closet, her Jewlery that she received from her mama and daddy for her birthday, and then… on to her makeup routine. That’s right! She propped me up on the sink, so to free her hands and demonstrate her process. Over the next 20 minutes she proceeded to douse face creams here, blot eyeshadow there, blend blush with her fancy sponges everywhere. (PS: I could tell that she was initially mortified to learn that I don’t wear makeup. I mean the face she gave me was a look of utter shock and disgust. Then she shifted gears. She got really close to the screen - I guess to get a better look at me? - and said “but Annie, you don’t need makeup. You always look pretty.” Have I mentioned that she is EDIBLE?! Makin’ her aunt feel like a million dollars!) She then helped me pick out an outfit to wear on my date with Hélèn and I helped her chose what “workout outfit” looked best for her day lounging (not working out) at the soccer field. I’m in love with her.
During our ONE HOUR FaceTime, she never let me back in the hands of Boggs. Just kept me for herself. I texted him later so say “I loved our visit. I’m so proud of how handsome and talented you are.” He wrote back “Thank you Annie. I love you.” Ahhhh swoon. He may not let me kiss him on his mouth anymore (worst day of my life when he said no to me on that) but good lord does he still make my heart melt. My first boodle love!
And then… another UPGRADE. After my phone call when them, I spotted the chicest, most fixed French lady. Her head was adorned by a fedora hat that was ever so slanted for style, a jacket draped on her arm for glam, and her signature red lips for va va voom. My date! Hélèn. My new, but feels like longtime, friend and I met at Le Saint Regis here on Île Saint Louis (my mom and Joe’s watering hole when they visited last April.) We sat outside at the corner table. My favorite table because you get to sit beside your date as opposed to in front. My preference, nearly always. And we caught up for hours since we hadn’t laid eyes on one another since before the mass exodus of Parisians over the summer. It was such an upgrade of an afternoon! And cherry on top? My great grandmother’s embroidered change-purse and phone are still in my possession.
Get ready. I don’t know what I was thinking! But right when we sat I simply tucked them both on our table. Pas problem. I thought. Until… a guy walked by, stopped, looked at them, looked at us, made a strange face, and then walked past. Hélèn and I busted out laughing. It was like he was tempted to steal them but since it would have been SO obvious and simple to do it he thought he was being tricked. Ha. Like it was bait. And thank god he thought that! In his mini pause / hesitation, I made one movement of grabbing my things and tucking them into my rain coat pockets for safe keeping. They basically haven’t come out since (this crook made an impression).
AND SPEAKING OF CROOK…
On Monday, one of my besties flew in for Fashion Week. Eeeeep! I love this week so much! I get the pleasure of palling around with her and pretending to be as cool as she is.
We met at Judy Market for a veggie meal in the rain (ahhhhh more on this later. I promised NOT to complain… so all I’ll say with a smile on my face is - this wetness is making me crazy. See? No complaints. Just a smily fact!)
Marrissa had already asked me if I would be up for her shooting me with the newest “it” Chloe bag — ummmmmmm YES. Is that even a real question? You mean you want me to walk around Paris, strutting and pretending to not only be cool but be chic with this bracelet bag? You got it! Point me in the direction of the camera!
Upon finishing lunch the waitress asked if we wanted dessert. We initially said no then Mariss had a lightbulb moment. What if we walk around and shoot you eating all the Parisian desserts with the bag?! It’s perfect! (Perfect for me too! J’adore sweets!!)
The rain prevented us from doing exactly what Mariss had envisioned - but my mouth and belly didn’t know the difference. We would “plop” the bag down and I’d take a bite, I would “pick it up” and then take a bite, or I would get the ultimate cue from Mariss to… “put it in your crook!” and then we would just belly laugh all those sweet calories away!
I have no imagery of this day with us… I mean I can’t steal an artist’s work after all! So I can’t wait to see how she edits it all together! She’s a genius at this! (Her last post hit 4million views in ONE DAY. I told her… we’re working for the same numbers with mine, ok?! ;)) Stand by. The second I am viral on the world wide web, I will shout it from the rooftops. You will know!
Our last shot was with a frappuccino mocha concoction from Mademoiselle Angelina on the edge of Jardin du Luxembourg (if it was cute and sweet … we sought it out and got it in the shot). We were sipping and tucking the bag in my crook for another pose when we realized.. Uh oh! In t-minus 20 mins the Vaquera show is starting!
Mariss of course has access to cover the runway — so she was also able to sneak me in as a VIC (Very Important Client. Which I LOVED - mostly because I showed up not on brand. They were probably thinking… ‘this VIC is important to us… why? she looks like she belongs at the preppy shows not here.’ But they let me in anyway!) I was the preppiest one in the lot. I do believe I was even wearing my silk scarf that I tie into a large bow with a blazer. I was screaming Ralph Lauren and was entering the coolest dark warehouse with people who had their silk mesh scarves covering their faces for fashion (not tied around their necks like Audrey did in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, my muse for the day) and heels as tall as my godson’s bébé legs. It was a wild scene and I loved every minute!
When the lights dimmed, I kept one eye on the runway and one eye glued on Linda Fargo, SVP of Bergdorf Goodman. If you haven’t already, do yourself a favor and watch Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf’s. (You’re welcome!) She is all over this documentary. Marissa spotted her the second we walked in and then, I couldn’t peel my eyes away from her. Were we liking this outfit? Were we filming this one? Were we smiling? Were we disappointment? Were we left wanting more? Ahhhhh nope nope… we liked it! We filmed it! We smiled a lot. and then… we immediately left. I took cues from Linda. It was the best day!
Oh!! And ANOTHER celebrity siting happened when…
I met Justine for our inaugural Île Dinner Club this week. We wanted to try KHANA, the Afghanistan Restaurant, but since the rain had finally broken (a few hours before, I had to bolt home from a nice sunny stroll due to the random downpour we received – my bedroom window had been left wide open), we decided to dine outside at L'Escale terrace and enjoy the sun. The “it place” in town that night, so it appeared.
Halfway through our meal, and the 75th time the couple in front of us smiled our way and locked eyes with Noodle, Justine's miniature Goldie Hawn (I literally don’t know any dog breeds. I only know if they are bigger or smaller than my Goldie Hawn), we realized they were…ummmm famous! Well, Justine realized.
Turns out, it was Jamel Debbouze and his wife, Mélissa Theuriau. How cool!!
This moment took me back to my NYC days when I dined beside Ethan Hawk and his scandalous (at the time) nanny turn girlfriend, ran into Nate Burkus on the street in Chelsea, locked eyes with Philipp Seamore Hoffman in the West Village, got a look over from Jamie Fox outside of Cafe Cluny, helped J Lo find gifts for her (at the time 20 something year old boyfriend) at RRL, shared a breakfast (kinda, but not really at all, just the table next to him) with Jake Gyllenhaal, and wait for it … my favorite… had dinner with Scarlett Johansson the night she got engaged Frenchman, Romain Dauriac, in East Hampton. (There were 12 of us. And wow that story actually deserves it’s own EN ROUTE. It was a wild, unexpected, pinch-me, where am I, remember to talk normal and don’t mess this up you could be best friends with an A lister, and mentally memorize everything that is happening tonight AC so to immediately regurgitate in your journal later, wild hell of a night experience) A.NY.WAY. My point is.. It reminded me of NYC and all of these moments (and so many more) because in every city all celebrities are just normal, kind, unexpected, dog obsessed, and clearly wanting a front row view of the sunset on the Pont de la Tournelle. Like us! UPGRADE!
This past week I also went for a run along the river with every other hibernating Parisian who was craving those sunshine raise on the only morning the sun popped out to say hello. I helped Leah, who is in the middle of a wardrobe overhaul (she called in the expert. C’est moi! Ok ok… Not expert as much as manic - just ask my mother and bestie, Jane, for verification. I practically hold them hostage when I visit until we go through every piece of clothing they own and color coordinate their closets. Don’t worry, they thank me later. Or maybe they just thank god that it’s over. One of the two), I had a date with Selden and Betty (her teacup version of Goldie Hawn) as we celebrated her new freedom of leaving a job that was TERRIBLE, I had a date with another new (but feels like longtime) friend, Natacha, I got to snuggle down Cyril for coffee (fellow Île Saint Louiser and also a renowned ballerina (male dancer I think is the formal term) for the Paris Opera), and by nightfall on Saturday night, I pulled up a chair at La Méthode with new friends at a language meet up. I was the last to arrive, so the waiter poured the final bit of the bottle in my glass. As he poured he made an announcement “looks like a marriage will happen by this time next year!” “Quoi?!!!!” He laughed and then walked away. Evidently it’s a superstition in France? When only women are drinking a bottle of wine together, the last pour is essentially like the one who catches the bouquet at the end of a wedding. She’s up next for matrimony.
Let’s see. Shall we?
HOMELESS FACT
I learned last night that the big boy beers here in Paris are considered by all vendors ONLY what the homeless people would buy. Ha! I buy one every evening. I don't do this because they’re the big ones. I do this because it is the only size sold in the beer that I love the most. I texted my friend who also lives on the island “I think the owner of the Carrefour thinks I’m an alcoholic. He smirks each night as I go in at sunset to purchase my $4 beer” before walking to the point to bask in the sun. (ok, not every night. Just the rare nights when there actually is a SUNset, like last night) She told me “that’s because only the homeless people buy this beer”
If the shoe fits… I thought. I mean, I have a home per se, but I don’t have confirmation yet on my visa status (it expires by the way NEXT week on the 4th) that I can stay, so I don’t really know where my home will be this coming year. So c'est la vie. I’ll keep buying my big beers like all of us homeless do!
THE DOCTOR WILL SEE YOU NOW
I just biked home from another Doctor appointment this morning, where my sweet nurse took 7 vials of blood. As I was lifting up my sweater to expose my arm I started tearing up and then here came the waterworks!!! “Pardon, madame, Je suis un bébé pour les aiguilles.” She spoke zero English but from there on out she lobbed me softballs in the language world. “D'où venez-vous?” (where are you from?) “Est-ce que vous travaillez?” (what do you do for work?) etc. I nailed the answers in French, and she nailed her motive - to distract me from passing out! Praise be to the cushion-ie Dr. office chairs. If anything had happened and I passed out from the needles — I noticed the one I was in reclined!
RAIN RAIN GO AWAY COME AGAIN … NEVER
This weather, in addition to knowing that I am glued here in France until I get the word from the government that I can travel freely back to the US and return if I wish too, is making me miss the US something terrible. I know that weather like this happens there too – but I don’t recall it being this dreary for this long. Mais let’s see with this too, eh!? Maybe the weather… not the government… makes my decision for me on if I stay or if I go!
Until next week… I am off to a few more work calls this afternoon. Then, I will welcome Caroline to my new home. She is in town to celebrate Miranda’s birthday tonight. And, Nico getting a job! Lots of champagne toasts to come!
I have two other celebrations this weekend with new friends and a hope and prayer for GOOD WEATHER. I think it’s in the cards! Where it’s not in the cards is South Carolina, Tennessee, and Florida. Hurricane Helen is hitting all of my southerners with tons of rain and electricity outages. So far everyone is safe… but please send them their love if you think about it. Hurricanes are great for the snacks and movies and monopoly games… only when there is electricity and no broken windows. I hope that is what everyone I love experiences during this storm. Fun family time with snacks!
xxo ac
ps: Look at this other PRECIOUS boodle who FaceTimed her favorite American Aunt this week too… Margaux! Her mama tells me that I’m the only one see gives flirts to. J’adore ça!