I WENT TO THE STATION

... AND FILLED MY TANK!

This week has been filled with friends… here and there and everywhere! So thankful!

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LE WEEKEND DERNIER

Friday I met Sarah for a martini by the infamous Colin at Maison Proust Bar. It was her birthday drink from me and it was exactly what we both needed that night. To dress up, have a sophisticated experience and gab… all the livelong night. I feel so lucky that she wasn’t freaked out by this semi naked gal in the sauna some 9 months ago. Since that moment — We have become such dear friends!

Saturday morning, after I realized that I was out of coffee. I thought.. good! This way, I get out of the house and get around people! 

Friday was a doozy for me. School moved at a snail's pace – I had a long ugly cry in Jardin du Luxembourg, while I may or may not have been blaring Queen B (her new country album too… I’m here for it!). I received a ton of love from lots of friends – and calls from two … Jane and Fiona… who from a distance, filled my tank. (Fiona sent me the shot below from NYC at the time she called — pink sky and beautiful.)

I received the most beautiful bouquet of flowers from Simon, I went for a long walk and gabbed with my mother. I got caught in a misting rain. And then took myself out to visit a friend in the flesh. It was a great and long and sad and happy and all the things kind of day. So…. hence me forgetting to buy coffee grinds!

So… back to it… Saturday, I made myself get up and go out for coffee, cookies (for a cute little one I’d be seeing later, Sasha. She’s all of three and could NOT be more delicious. Her mama was hosting me for lunch so I was bringing dessert), and makeup (I just ran completely out of it all and decided it would be the perfect treat for myself)! 

In addition to making myself get outside – I too had decided that I would only speak French this morning. And wow was I touched! I went to Saint Boulangerie for bread, the cookies and a needed coffee. I met the most incredibly kind and patient server, Louise. She was behind the counter and as I started she saw that I was trying it in French and having trouble. Instead of getting irritated at my speaking-pace. She smiled with pride and told me in english “take your time. I have all the time in the world.” (she really didn’t – she had a cue a mile long waiting behind me. But ah! Made my heart full. There are good people in the world!) So, I did. I took my time and tried to use every new word I had learned that week with her. While I was deciding on which cookie sweet Sasha may like best – the French woman behind me said in English “one is white chocolate and one is milk chocolate. She wants to know which one you want.” She too (I think, although I wasn’t convinced) was being sweet. But, I’m not an idiot. I mean, I may not speak perfectly yet, but ummm I’m pretty sure my eyesight isn’t affected by my lack of language … and that I can 100% SEE the difference between white and milk chocolate – so I turned around and said “Merci beaucoup. Mais, je ne comprend pas l’anglais pour le moment” (Thank you very much. But I don’t understand English at the moment.) – and then pointed to Louise and continued – “Elle est très gentile et patiente avec moi pendant que je prends ma décision.” (She is very kind and patience with me while I take my decision.) I am quite sure I butchered the structure of the sentence I said to her. But it felt amazing. To not get tongue tied. To stand up for my right to take as long as I please while I’m learning how to speak and then … decide to take BOTH cookies. Haha. I’m sure that upset the woman behind me even more — but c'est la vie. 

Next, on to the Veggie Bin – well, our equivalent to that here in Paris, anyway. I don’t know the actual name of this place. I just know that Roland, whom I buy my veggies from, made me cry on this day with his sweetness. I’m sure you all remember from the last En Route – but I was having a très très fragile week last week - and boy did it roll into my weekend as well! 

I was ready to display water works at the drop (pun) of a hat with anyone who was evil or kind to me. Fortunately. Roland was the latter of the two. His shop was no bigger than my college dorm room and packed – I'm talkin’ crate upon crate of the most gorgeous and fresh veggies with only room for one person at a time. I had a list and as I spoke he taught me new ways to remember the names of the listed veg “tête d'ail” was my favorite. As I was tearfully thanking him for being so caring for me on that morning – a little knock came on the window. It was a precious boodle staring up at him and patiently waiting for me to get out already! so that she could go in with her mommy for her weekly trip. Roland told me… “That little girl’s mama was her age when she used to come with her mama here. Now she brings her daughter.” Warmed my heart! Traditions – I’m a sucker for them!

On to get my makeover. I was en route to Oh My Cream! – my new favorite shop here. I’m not only a sucker for tradition – but for products! Bring on anything in a dusted glass bottle with a beautiful label, or a good body brush, or tongue scraper, or palo santo! I mean … really… anything that looks beautiful and smells good –  Wrap it up! I’ll take it all!

The shop opened at 10:30 and I had timed it perfectly. I opened the door seconds after they unblock it. Ryad was my hero there! He was gay and fabulous and ready for the game I was about to play with him. It went something like this: I’ll Say a French Word and Use Hand Gestures and You Guess What I’m Saying. He caught on quickly and played with me for a full hour. I never cheated. He didn’t either. French only!

When I went to pay – he snuck in my bag ALL the samples. I’m talking ALL of them. I must have been salivating, because he turned around and laughed. Then I shared with him (still en Français) that I used to drink a thimble of olive oil each morning to make my skin and hair glow. My friends who visited me this past week (I’m getting to them soon) reminded me that it wasn’t just for that. It was also when I was teetering on the obsessive eating fence and was following Kate Moss’s words of wisdom — that “nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels.” This of course was before I moved to France and now know that she’s a liar! (I mean last night even, Simon and I had a choux for dessert after our decadent incredible meal… and yep, I still could have eaten another.) Because over here everything tastes better than being skinny feels. EVERYTHING!

I derail..   

Margot, who has made several cameos in my En Route – the beautiful, sweet, French lady who I am actively trying to recruit to be my best friend – invited me over for lunch to check in on me. I showed up – still not in a good place on this day. And so, while I was taking a tour of her incredible apartment. Looking at all of her and her husband’s artwork (all framed purchased paintings, homemade paintings that the children had done, photos etc.) and their book and vintage glass collections, the eye faucet came on – strong. Margot hugged me and said “I think you’re homesick.” I think I was too. I was longing for my things. I was craving to drink from my beautiful glasses and see all of my collected framed artwork. Alas… I can’t just yet. For now I will continue to admire others and just let the tears fall (embarrassingly) on a whim. 

(It did get me thinking though. How funny is it that we think all money is the same? I recently read The Soul of Money – which I highly recommend. In short, it’s about how each dollar has a soul. So the money I spent today on my friend and my coffees - that currency was meant to be spent on togetherness and friendship. Those dollars weren’t meant to pay for my rent for example. Those are the other dollar’s job. It gives definition to the word currency in a way that you not only see it as the almighty dollar – but of a flow. Of a “you must put it in to flow more your way” etc. So … I just kept thinking about how if I had only put some of those rent dollars … say, the ones that I put towards my agency fee for finding this apartment that I don’t love… towards shipping over my things. I could have had a better flow. You know what I mean? Let’s say that the agency fee and the shipping would cost the same. How wild is it that I can’t stomach paying that much money to ship things? Yet don’t flinch when it comes to logistical fees. Haha silly. How we all evaluate the degree of money and what’s worth what to us. When it’s all the same.. it’s just currency (energy).

Uh oh! Derailed again.. Back on track..

Margot and I had the best visit – drank a yummy and funky wine and gabbed for hours. It was food for my soul. It took me a long time to walk home – I talked at length with my mother and Goldie Hawn. And finally made it to chez moi for a cozy night in.

Sunday I met Simon for a coffee. His family was coming to town and we were stealing an hour before he was to take his nephew to a soccer game (his Christmas gift to him). I hadn’t seen much of him this week so it was a special hour. 

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FILLED TANK

This past week has been filled with Friends! Next week will be too.. As Fashion Week continues! Sadly, Pip and Marissa will be gone. But in comes Kaki and Lori!

I met Philippa and Marissa at Carboni’s for such an incredible visit and meal. One of my favorite restaurants in my hood. Marissa is here for work with Fashion Week – my fashion lady boss friend who has ALWAYS had the coolest jobs! And Philippa, our other fashionista friend, who’s laugh is contagious, tagged along for the fun. We laughed so hard, acted silly, and just filled each other’s tanks (mine especially)! After our dinner we strolled back to my apartment where we talked until 1am, acted silly, and decided to redo our photos from the restaurant. You can see – we got carried away.

We have all posed for Marissa at some point during our outings and we hold our breath – until we see if we’ve made the cut. She has such a cool eye for all uniqueness and style so we joked about how people will send her pictures and think they’re good enough for the insta or website … but she’ll say. These are wonderful! AND … they didn’t make the cut! Haha lady boss. I love it! Philippa did make her cut with a cameo on Nordstrom’s Instagram this past week (Marissa is the boss). I see you lady in red… at the VERY END! Très Chic, Pip!

On Tuesday, while Marissa hit the pavement and actually worked while she was here… Pip and I had more fun. We met Miranda at Brasserie Lipp for dinner. It was a packed house and simply the best way to send Pip back to Texas, with a full belly (belly laughs included). 

School was canceled again on Tuesday. Which honestly turned out to be a blessing. I arranged to take a coffee date with Rebecca, who I had met one of the first months I was here and have been wanting to get together again with since. She is a recruiter for C-Suite positions. And even though I may not be THAT level (just yet) it gave me the fire I needed to pull my resume together, make tweaks, and get myself back out there. (Sidebar – rewriting your resume does a number for your confidence. I had totally forgotten several of the cool brands I had worked for back in my 20s. Sometimes it’s good to revisit and remember that I too was a lady boss (in my own right).)

I left her and took a long stroll home. And when I unlocked my door – stepping into my courtyard – there was Simon. Tucking a love letter in my mailbox and holding a bouquet of long stem red roses. He had NO idea that my school had been cancelled, so didn’t think I’d be home. If I had not taken the roundabout way to reach chez moi – I would have missed him. It was one very special moment!

I am ending this week with my final day of school today. It was incredible! I LOVED my classmates and bounded with each of them a lot over this past month. Many of us have decided to stop – while the others are moving forward. But we have promised to stay connected and continue to get together to practice what we’ve learned. 

The end of this week has felt so much better than the last several weeks. I have felt clear and settled and calm about where I am in life. To sum it up … note the picture below of a random girl who was walking in front of me on her way to school one morning. I think the message was meant for moi! (everything comes to you at the right time.)

I saw Lô – my Reiki master (hahaha I can hear the eyerolls now!) last night and, per the usual, felt more calm after leaving. I got to see Simon after, where we had such a wonderful night visiting and dinning at one of his favorite restaurants, Restaurant Brigitte. It poured down rain throughout the dinner and Simon recruited his favorite waiter, Diego (I think that was his name. Eeeek. He had memorized my name within 30 seconds of entering!), to tell me that this never happens in Paris. All the rain, that is.This weather isn’t going to be a constant. I think Simon was trying to make me see that the sun will come out again soon!

Simon assured me last night that if I ever wanted to move back to the US (given my state the past couple of weeks) that he’d come with. Just like last week with his finger points. He doesn’t want me to miss what he sees (beautiful Paris - even with the downpours). And he doesn’t want to miss what I see either (sometimes getting back to my home country)! Such a special night with these special words: “Il n'y a que deux conduites avec la vie: ou on la rêve ou on l'accomplit.” — René Char. (Loose translation: There are ultimately only two ways to act in life: either we dream it or we accomplish it.)

I’m off this coming week to rendezvous with Elise in Belgium. SO happy to see her, get my eyes on a new country, and to return to a Miss Sunny Melet (who I used to babe site in NYC for years — she’s now in her 20s!!!! How did this happen?) who will be crashing with me for a few days.

Spring is about to Spring and I can’t wait for it. Feels like it’s all fitting back into place again and that I have dreamed this incredible life to being — now, I will accomplish it!

xxo ac