WENT TO THE STATION...
AND FILLED MY TANK!
I would say that I woke up last Wednesday morning, but I don’t think you can say that when you ummmmm DON’T sleep! Body electric. I was way too excited to fall asleep the night before I was Holy City bound – I had my FAMILY to get to after all!
A few months ago, my friend Leah, who I met in Paris, had planned a trip with one of her very best friends, who was traveling through Europe for a while. They were supposed to meet in a chic beach town in France and spend four days together. Unfortunately, something came up that prevented her friend from making the trip, which meant Leah wouldn’t get to see one of her besties at all while they were both on the same continent. Naturally, Leah understood, but was devastated. Not because she was missing the vacation they had planned — but because she “just wanted to be with family.” I related to that so deeply! That’s how I feel about my best friends too — they’re not just friends, they’re family.
The common question that was asked to me when I saw each of my Charleston friends was A. What do I love most about Paris? and B. What do I miss most about America? My answers were steadfast: A. Her elegance. Paris’s ancient architecture never disappoints, rain (mostly all the time) or shine. B. FRIENDSHIPS, family, Goldie Hawn, my things, traditions, and that yummy unconditional LOVE, rain or shine (mostly all of the time).
I miss my tribe more than anything though. Being in couch reach when you have a fun story to share, being in the same time zone when you call and can meet their ‘good morning’ with a ‘good morning,’ as opposed to a ‘good evening,’ being looked at in the eye when you need to feel seen, being handed a tissue when the tears swell (this actually happened this trip with one of my dearest, Michael, and nearly made me lose it even harder when I saw that chivalry is not dead!), being with those who remember that I love dirty martinis and Negronis, so they order one (or 12) for me without even thinking, being with those who can finish my sentences, and who, without any words at all, understand everything I’m saying. That is family! And boy have I missed them. So, in short – or rather, long – I had too much buzz swarming in my body to sleep at all the night before I was due to go get my tank filled by this wonderful family of mine!!
First stop, bébé Luna girl! She is edible! I’m talkin DELISH. She is the smallest boodlest of boodles, and her mama?! Ahhh, her mama couldn’t have looked more experienced in her new role as mother. I could have eaten them both with a spoon. But I didn't have to. Because I am proud to say that Luna’s mom granted me permission to kiss her! (Uh oh! She opened the floodgates. This meant that everytime we came to a full stop on our walk, or if I heard Luna make a noise, sigh, open her eyes, breathe, you name it… that boodle was getting a smooch!). And, cherry on top. I learned that I was the FIRST friend to get to lay one on her! That’s right! That, I think, means that I’m Elise’s family too.
It was such an upgrade being with them and especially seeing Elise in her new full-time-role as mother. She told me that she is never bored. She shared how just the day before, Luna learned to ‘pet’ by reaching out her hand to touch their dog. I have never heard a mother describe something so simple like that with so much L O V E. What a gift! Luna has a mama who is so tuned in and enjoying every moment of this precious creature she created. I can only hope to be exactly like her when I am sporting a Baby Björn with a little one one day. So proud of her.
Before seeing the girls I drove to Whole Foods so I could snail-pace my way down every aisle and buy all the supplements. (Anyone who knows me well, knows that an organic grocery or market is my absolute happiest place. I’ve even been known to cry (just ask my mom if you need proof and then brace yourself for the most embarrassing story) when I stumbled upon one I didn’t expect to find!). As I pulled in, I was finishing up a conversation with Erika (from America). She heard my excitement and said “AC, when you leave the store, write down exactly how you feel so that you remember it forever!” She suggested that I use that feeling of happiness as a parameter and to think about what things in France makes me this happy, brings this much excitement (over something this simple). So I did!
I stayed with Melissa and Ted this time, in their beautiful new home in Wagener Terrace – just a scones throw, oooops, I mean stone's throw away from The Harbinger (Upgrade!). So, driving onto the peninsula, I popped by to get my keys from Ted, then to Babas for a decaf cappuccino for a new mommy who hasn’t introduced caffeine back into the mix so that Luna remains a precious calm boopy, and my all time favorite – a peanut mocha. (This drink is actually what my dreams are made of!)
With coffees loaded, I burned rubber wheeling onto Logan Street, where I spotted my girls. Elise had Luna strapped to her chest and dressed in a fleece onesie that I immediately prayed came in adult sizes.
We lapped her South of Broad neighborhood a good 12 times, looped the battery, semi circled Colonial late, strolled up King, past a house decorated with pink bows on Tradd, and during all the stepping, we talked about – well, everything! Elise is the kind of friend you want in your corner. She believes in her people, she doesn't doubt the good that is in store for those she loves, and she is not afraid of a good sign as a direction in the path we need to follow. She is one of my soul sisters! As I dissected all that has been going on this past year, and my thoughts about my future, she and I came up with the verdict. Bottom line: never ignore a hunch. Almost 2 hours later, Luna was starting to stir for lunch, as my alarm was buzzing to go meet Greer, my next walking date. So I left with a pep in my step and gratitude in my heart.
Waiting on Greer at The Harken (her other incredible Bakery – and not the one we were supposed to meet at. Ha! I was supposed to meet her up at Harbinger, close to Melissa and Ted’s. Even texted her this – and since we always, always, used to meet at Harken. I found myself walking there instead. Funny accident that was, well, meant to happen because…) I ran into Jen, an old colleague of mine from Charleston Library Society. Jen squealed the second we locked eyes and then we broke the line and hugged tight. It was such a happy moment and one that I needed on some professional level. She went on, and on, and on, about how great CLS is doing, and gave me way too much credit for all that has happened since I left. She kept praising what I had helped put in motion a few years ago and how they are continuing to do events that I helped Laura, my past incredible boss, execute. It was an UPGRADE to see Jen and to be reminded of how valuable I was in that role with them. Made me miss it and my work crew a lot!
Once Greer arrived we did what we do best together. Walk and talk. It was as if we hadn’t missed a month (we used to meet monthly for a walk for almost 5 straight years). We strolled the very same route we always used to. Down East Bay, over to Murray Avenue, across South Battery, and back up to Queen. As we parted I was getting a call from an NYC family member, Vivian. I beelined it to the Battery, where I sat for nearly an hour talking with her and looking out at the water (my ultimate healer).
At that moment, I realized that I was falling back in love with the great US of A.
As the sun was closing in on the day's end, I booked it to Chez Melissa + Ted to get in a smooch before my dinner with Laura Pelzer. One of my all time favorite people, at one of my all time favorite restaurants, The Ordinary. It was the greatest night. Mini beers to start with our smoked fish pate (in fact THIS is what actual dreams are made of) and then a martini for me (not to be confused with the martini service that I long for them to bring back on the menu!!! I mean. What are we even doing here if it’s not to order the chic martini service? Bring it back!) and a tis-the-season frozen eggnog concoction for LP. We had a ball. Caught up on everything. Work family is also very real. In the family tree, she’s my wise big sister, I'd say.
The next morning I hurried off to Dr. Bayme. My all time favorite dentist who Sarah introduced me to years ago. He is the type of doctor who starts out with words like “Honey” or “Darlin” (Yes, you’re going to need to read that in a very southern dialect.) Everything he says just hums. It’s so sweet. But you know what is even sweeter? Leaving with NO cavities! That’s right! Clean bill of health.. But an American size bill of payment! Add this to what I don’t miss about America — The expensive everything.
I sped over to Vanessa’s after – my guru, witch, healer, masseuse, angel. She had booked me for FOUR hours (someone pinch me) for a deep conversation, finger pad scans to track my energy centers and organ health, a full body rub-down, and Rasha frequencies! I had the works!
Removing my eyemask from the Rasha to an excited Vanessa asking me if I felt anything, saw anything, had thoughts of significance.. I saw the time. It was 3:15! I had a hair appointment that I had worked so hard to get in 30 mins, downtown! We both laughed as I had been working on for the 4 hours to calm myself and be settled, not to feel overstimulated by a time constraint. In true angel fashion. Her mantra came true. I made it in no time, with one minute to spare.
After getting two hair washes (due to the oil from my massage before – I know! Life of leisure!), and a new do, I walked over to the Library to smooch on my old colleagues, Lisa and Gabriel at the Holiday Bazaar. Cherry on top! Not only did I get a great visit with them, I also ran into a slew of members and friends who I introduced to the wonderful culture of CLS. Our old President, Jerry, who I just knew wouldn’t remember me, came directly over, called me by name, and spoke a little French. Stevenson, another board member, who looked happily shocked to see me in the reading room when he walked in. Courtney, a friend who I brought into the Holiday Market mix years ago and is still one of the top vendors at the Bazaar. Christian, Kristin, Anna, and Jamie, all friends of mine who I recruited to be a part of the culture of CLS and who were on other boards with me throughout my time in Charleston. And so many other members who hugged my neck. UPGRADE of an impromptu visit!!!
Michael met me at my old watering hole, Bin 152, for wine and the greatest charcuterie board there ever was – flower cheese, prosciutto, and a glass of American Eberle. I could have stayed 10 hours with him that night. We discussed everything and realized that our friendship has been over 7 years. A lifetime in dog years. At one point I got emotional with him, sharing all that I have on my mind lately about last year and what I am considering for this coming year. Without missing a beat, he stood up, walked to the bar and brought back cocktail napkins for me to dry my tears. Family!
The next morning I shot out of bed and walked the short half block over to meet Blaise for coffee at Greer’s first bakery, The Harbinger. Before we knew it, two hours had passed while we discussed all the new exciting news, uncomfortable situations, happy and sad moments in our lives, saw one of my college friends, Katie, and moved from inside to outside to chase the sun. She is a wise family member who I always learn from – always. This time, she taught me two things. One. “Stop watering a dead tree.” and Two. “plus, minus, circle” – a code to how she felt about her first several years in Charleston. She had gone through a very big shift (as moi) before she decided to make a very big move (as moi) from NYC to Chaarlseon. When she arrived, she started logging what she “consumed” each day. This could be food, tv, conversations, books, pictures, calls etc. Beside each shorthanded description of her daily consumption, she would mark it with a +, a -, or a ◉. This was to identify what brought joy (+), brought sadness or an icky feelings (-), or what was neutral (◉). This helped her gauge what she wanted to consume and what she needed to excuse/delete from her life. Genius. So simple. So telling. And this was the key code!
Leaving Blaise feeling I had been upgraded, I roamed the Battery for a bit until walking up King Street to meet Russell for lunch at Babas. The minute we saw one another we laugh-cried. She is the kind of family who makes me knee slap while reaching for the tissues. Her laugh is contagious and she has such a soft, kind, empathic, personality. Genuine to her core! She was also raised in my hometown county… Horry… so she’s my family indeed!
Walking back to get my car, I popped by Found, my friend Kristin’s new antique shop where we gabbed and gabbed. I learned about one of our mutual friend’s Sara, expecting her first baby. I learned about the cookie party that Jillian, our other dear friend, was throwing the night after – and one that I used to never miss! My favorite Charlestonian memories!
And speaking of favorite Charlestonians…. Enter my sweetHart.
Hart and I met 7ish years ago too and it was a joy to see her this trip especially. She is thriving! Her business is on fire! Her new home is the coziest and LARGEST place I’ve ever been to, her boodles are delicious, and her sweet husband is the best. Family! Walking into her new office, I was blown away! I got to see the ins and outs of the shipping method, talk with some of the employees, sneak peeks at all the new charms and chains she has designed, and gush over her success. I am wildly proud of my sweetHart and miss the days we used to strategize together or have her call me about HR advice. Way back before she had 68 (you read that right) people working for her. Lady boss!
Speeding home to change for dinner with my gals: Whitley, Melissa and Lindsay, I ran into Courtney’s husband across the street from Melissa’s house. SMALL WORLD, even in Charleston. Two of my besties, who don’t know one another, live across the street from each other. Couldn’t get any better than that. Quick change and off to Melfi’s for my final night in the Holy City. Ring the alarm! We would be in need all the martinis, all the bottles of wine, and (oooops) two nightcaps at Faculty Lounge (the dark dance club – even in daylight hours – that requires a doorbell buzz and announcement of who is ringing upon entry). That night was perfection. Laughs, deep conversations, too many negronis to count, glamorous friends, great food, and connections. I learned so much that night with this family of mine!
Before leaving CHS, I made three pit stops. First, Hart’s mansion. No. But for real! It is enormous, gorgeous, already moved in (they’d only stayed 4 nights so far. Brand new! and not a box in sight.), already decorated for Xmas, and already cozy with their wood burning fireplace. We snuggled down with Blue Belle, her Beethoven type of dog, and husband for the greatest conversation before I took the grand tour of their new home, flirted with their boodles, and then went to my second pitstop: Lewis’s BBQ to pick up 2 lbs of brisket for my father and Joe. As I drove out of town I got my final peanut mocha, called my friends in CHS who I didn’t get to see in person, and cried just a bit as I bid farewell to one of the homelands of one of my closest and most cherished friend tribes. A family I’ve been truly blessed to have!
Pulling into Myrtle Beach, I picked up pops and GH, and took us to the beach where we walked for an hour before returning home to heat up the brisket and watch a double Xmas movie feature! Those films began my real feelings of Christmas. The next day, I met mama and Joe at First Presbyterian Church where they sandwiched me on the pew as we listened and enjoyed the Long Bay Symphony perform of Handel's Messiah. (Given that my mother’s father was a master organist, Joe and I were given strict instructions (and glares) NOT to clap until the entirety of the program was complete. haha. My sweet mama, carrying on that music snobbery. Like father like daughter. I loved it!).
Dad and I decorated his outside tree and then walked GH on the backside of the golf course that evening. The sky looked like cotton candy and the houses looked like ummm the castles from Disneyland. Gargantuan. But not nearly as beautiful as Pops’s Xmas house!
BEDRIDDEN
Coming off of my incredible trip in Charleston, I have found myself under the weather and under the covers for most days. I am grateful for my incredible view of Kingston Lake from my bedroom since I’m spending lots of time in here recovering, and grateful that my mother has a jacuzzi as a bathtub. I have been a prune most nights lately! Health is around the corner!
And to give me a heavy dose of soul medicine, last night two best childhood friends came over for dinner. We were due to meet out, yet, given my habitual nose-blows and mild-body-aches, I invited them over to the house for a spaghetti and meatball dinner (that my master chef stepfather prepared for us). Best decision yet! Instead of yelling in a loud restaurant and being interrupted by people coming by our table who we were sure to run into. We had the luxury of a private dinner, in the most beautiful dining room in Conway (I’m biased I know!), where we could gab uninterrupted for hours! I learned all about who’s married to who, how so and so are doing, what all has been happening with them over the past six months, and shared what we all wanted to happen in the next 6 months. Listening to their experiences, and sharing mine, it was wonderful! We were all born and raised in the same town, given the same experiences, the same opportunities, and yet crazy enough, we all had different goals, different relationships, and different paths – our same-ness though will forever outweigh our differences. Childhood connections are steadfast and true; they’re family.
DECK THE HALLS
I have always had a dream to rent a cinema, in whatever town I’m in, during the holidays. I am still workshopping the name, but rest assured, I would only stream Christmas films during this month. I used to talk about this with my friend, Steven, who was the other founding member of our Exclusive Movie Club in NYC. But, since being home this holiday season, there has been no need for a cinema – because every T.V. in the house will do just fine! So far, my holiday movie marathon have consisted of: The Polar Express, White Christmas, Home Alone, The Elf, Miracle on 34th Street, and a not-christmas-movie-at-all, yet one that we ONLY watch during Christmas time, Imitation of Life. Don’t worry! The Holiday, Love Actually, Family Stone, Christmas Vacation, Home Alone 2, It’s a Wonderful Life, and The Grinch are in the lineup… and GH will be dressed for the viewings in her latest santa ensemble.
Goldie Hawn was given THE cutest cape, Santa hat, whatever it is, by my uncle’s wife, Sim. She had one made specifically for GH. And as you’ll see above, I’m obsessed.
COMING UP
I told my friends last night that landing over here this time has felt different. It has felt wonderful to be back. It has felt comforting and has given me time to reflect on my last full year and all those experiences. I am excervous (excited + nervous) about the future, about seeing what’s coming next, and about getting settled. Last year was meant for adventure, for learning myself on a different level, for learning the French culture, language, and people, and for loving and giving myself so hard. It was for remembering what my values are and to grow in relationship with myself and others. And boy did I break me wide open!
Here’s to another family filled week ahead and even more upgrades to come!
Xxo ac
ps: One of my favorite dates last week before Charleston with Julie Boone (an angel of mine) — family.
